"You're not in KS anymore"

Joys/laughs/some blahh of this week:
Sunday: My dad and I went to Mass, this church is connected to St. Mary's Hospital of Mayo. It was beautiful. We took a mother and her middle aged daughter with us, Cindy and Shannon from the Naz well house. Cindy, the mom, was telling us of a humorous encounter with a nun, who happens to be 100 years old. Cindy pointed the nun out to us after Mass, she was the cutest lady ever. So I guess Cindy walked into the church last Saturday 10 minutes late, she runs into this nun and asks if it's too late; Cindy told us that the nun just grabs her in by the shoulder saying, "Come, come; we'll get you in, it's okay." If you were there to hear Cindy retelling this story, you would be laughing; Cindy got a kick out of this 100 year old nun, how sweet she was, and then how she yanked her by the shoulder. Both Shannon and Cindy were wonderful people to meet!!

After that, I went to a Lutheran church with a woman from the Lodge; there a man turned around and asked us where we were from. His response to me being from KS, was:  (Dorothy) You're not in KS anymore.

Monday: I ran into Dr. Lachance!! Finally, I knew it'd happen sometime. He's the neuro-oncologist. He's one of my favorite doctors I've had here, besides Dr. Marsh, who is so suave with his hair and accent. Dr. L and I chatted a little bit, it was so nice; probably the most relaxed he's ever seen me. He besides, Dr. Yan (the radiation oncologist), knows me the best, saying that I'm an OCD thinker. I also saw him in passing again on Tuesday.

Tues: In the evening, I watched a couple episodes of Parenthood and knitted a bit. Anyways, there was A LOT of humor in those episodes!!

Another joy was seeing the words, "Abundant Sunshine," written on the dry erase board near the main entrance of the Lodge to describe the forecast for that day.

Wed: I got to meet with the physical trainer at the YMCA. People living at the hope lodge, get to use the ymca for free. Woo! I'm on the north side of mayo, the ymca is on the south side; it is a beautiful jog between the lodge and the ymca, at least to me it is. Anyways, the trainer is named Kevin. He's about 29 or 30. He's the youngest man I've met here yet!!! He was a nice guy. So as I mentioned, it's important for me at this point in time, and even just in general important for anyone at any point of time; to do weight bearing activities to gain muscle mass therefore improving bone density. So he went through the best ways to do so with upper body on wed, and then lower body & core on Friday. The Whey protein, ohh goodness; that and Ensure... This week, I had a good shake made for me everyday of whey/ensure by my dad. The lifting has gone well so far! One of the side effects of radiation during treatment, can be fatigue. So far, fatigue doesn't feel to be an issue. Pray that it stays this way. No other immediate side effects, such as poor appetite and patchy hair loss have occurred yet. Wooo!

So, at Desk R, near the check in; there's a bell located on the wall. It's a bell to be rung three times upon completion of treatment. There is also something fitting inscribed on the plaque below it. Two times this week, I got to see someone leaving their last day of tx (usually a 5-7wk period) and ring the bell 3x's. It was definitely emotional!! I've had 9 so far, 24 to go.

Thurs: Long day of a four appointments/treatment. Eeeek! In the last blog, I shared what Dr. Y, had said last week, about menopause as early as 2 years r/t pituitary gland in brain not producing the hormone FSH(we get to meet with Dr. Y each week for about 20min, woo!). This day, Thursday got to meet with a doctor in reproductive endocrinology. She actually described what may happen as amenorrhea due to pituitary dysfunction rather than early menopause, meaning no menses r/t no signal via FSH. Ovaries can still make estrogen, but won't be doing so r/t no FSH. Where as in menopause, she explained that there aren't any eggs via ovaries. Therefore the doctor said that if I do experience amenorrhea; that I can take birth control which will give estrogen/progesterone which will help with bone strength. To the hopeful part, for future pregnancy; the doctor said that I could be given synthetic FSH/LH for ovulation induction for 10-12 days to conceive. May not be able to breast feed due to lack of some other hormone, but still! Anyways, that was probably too much info; but I just wanted to clarify that hopefully it won't be complete early menopause but just a pituitary dysfunction causing amenorrhea. Maybe I'll just stop sharing what the doctors say, it seems to differ in some way or another at points (:

In the beginning of this process,  back in April, I definitely soaked up the words of doctors like they were set in stone. Their words became as though they were those of 'God' (atleast I've at some points taken those words to heart in that way). I should not grip onto their words as if their words were all that mattered. God's words are the only words that last forever and are 100% true, not the words of doctors, even mayo doctors.

Although I am so thankful, that God is so intelligent; and has given his creation the ability to be so smart in order to treat people with nearly any sickness/disease; from the simple to the complicated to the 'weird and wonderful' as the radiation oncologist put it in describing the rare forms of tumors that they see. Back in the beginning of November, when we first met the the radiation oncologist; and received information about the tumor/radiation, she gave some very helpful advice after she gave us time to soak in the information. When she returned to the room, she could see I was freaking out; her advice came in the form of her saying that she noticed that I had been taking notes and had a Bible underneath the paper for notes. She made mention of the story of Peter getting out of the boat to walk on the water to meet Jesus, and then of Peter sinking into the water after being frightened by what he saw around him. So Dr. Yan's advice was to look at Jesus through out this stormy time of life. It was/is extremely helpful to think back on her advice, so here's the story from Matthew 14.

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.
26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
²⁷ But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
²⁸ “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
²⁹ “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.  
³⁰ But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
³¹ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”  ³² And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. ³³ Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

It's definitely hard to change and not worry so much about things. One of the really neat ladies here, Ann, grandmother of Rocko, asked me on Saturday if I worry too much. She could see it on my face as the more emotional part of me showing through. Ann told me: It's completely out of your hands, out of your control.

Later Thur evening my dad and I went to a faith based meeting hosted here called "Finding Hope along the Journey"-- it was a great hour, meeting people and hearing stories. I've met a great older couple through that, Tim and Glenna.

Friday: They had to draw some blood to get baseline hormone levels and to also determine if I was planet earth (:. It was scheduled for 7:20am. Haha!! It was actually nice waking up that early and getting outside, the sky being a darker blue, and getting to see the wonderful pooping complained about crows that have scattered the sidewalks with wonderful stuff. Then after everything was done for that day, I got to go to the movies!!! I went with a lady staying here at HL and her aunt. We saw Jack & Jill, it's with Adam Sandler.. I do NOT recommend it! But two parts that brought lots of laughter had to do with Jill eating a ton of Mexican food for the first time in her life which in turn led to horrible gargling bowel sounds while she was getting dropped off at her house by her date, she had to book it out of the car and run to the bathroom and have a very noisy bowel movement. I don't know why that kind of stuff just is hilarious to me. Ever since 8th grade, when I brought a whoopy cushion to school and sat on it in the middle of class, and Mrs. Fisher thought I really farted and said she felt sorry for me, haha!

Sat: from 3-8pm, First National Bank drove a group of us via bus who had signed up for a caroling/'sleigh ride,' dinner trip along with people from the Ronald McDonald house. It was a fun trip. And it snowed!! I got to try pumpkin soup.

This was definitely a week of feeling like 'you're not in KS anymore,' being up and down about the situation. On Friday, like I said I got to wake up early and go to Mayo to get blood drawn. As I was at the crosswalks nearing mayo, I saw lots of mayo employees and then younger people who looked like students as they were in scrubs. Later after I got back from the movies, that Friday night, there was a dinner being served by a group of people. My dad talked with them, and found out that these were nursing students. Right there, it caught me off guard, as it has been sinking in a little bit; seeing this tumor thing for what it is in one way; an interruption to me, something that is keeping me from school at this point in time. If I didn't have this, I wouldn't have this stress and parts of my brain would still be there and unaffected allowing me to be studying to the fullest capacity and becoming a nurse. I even recognized a few of the students serving dinner, from that morning at the crosswalks when I saw them going to what I later found out were clinicals out the Rochester Methodist Hospital.

Another thing that Dr. Y has emphasized is for my brain to stay active in learning/studying!! Dr Y. said to me "If you don't use it, you'll lose it," so if you could just pray that I would be diligent in continuing studying/reviewing nursing/Spanish. I've gone to the Patient education center a couple times this weeks to study, but basically it's room full of manicans, fake brains, and utero containing a manican fetus and displays(funnnnn). There have been a few times where I can definitely feel the results of prayer, when I have moments of amazing peace where I know it's only because of God answering prayers; I know you are praying, at times I can definitely feel it; thank you!

Another thing that caught me off guard on Friday was remembering that Saturday was KSU's last season game, after talking on the phone with my brother. This is just significant to me because, Joe has been in KC living with family since August, working and preparing for the Marines. He goes to Basic in the beginning of January. So, thanks to family, my brother and I have been able to enjoy K-State football, going to games and tailgating, and enjoying time in the car before arriving to the game and finding parking off of Kimball on the west side of the stadium; and then leaving the game and it taking almost an hour to get out of the parking lot and back on Tuttle creek blvd. I can't put into words how amazing it has been to have such a time with Joe, so it was just knowing what he was doing and that I was missing that time at the game with him/tailgating/ making it out of the church parking lot (it taking like 30-40min) in the car listening to music and watching him be a goof (he dances in the car while listening to music- ask him sometime hah). But we won ending the season, 10-2!! And he sounded great Saturday morning when I caught him at the game.

So if you haven't read enough already: I have to share with you, last but not least, one huge part of joy of this week! It's OFFICIAL!!! From Dec 14-18th, Rachel, Sara, Elizabeth, and Laurie will be in Rochester to visit!! Ahh, I'm so excited, it will be so much fun!! Amazing friends that I am so thankful for, each of them have been nothing but a blessing to me! We'll go up to Mall of America!!