Last Wednesday; Sara, Elizabeth, Laurie & Rachel came to visit. They left early Sunday morning. I've known them all for over four years now; as we went to bible study together, went to Nav's, and have lived in the dorms together through out college at ksu. It was wonderful to see them & spend time with them!! I'll just go through and list some highlights:
Wed: They arrived!!! We got to run to each other as we saw each other from a distance and have a big group hug. They came to the Lodge that evening & got to eat dinner there.
Thurs: We had "Christmas morning" of opening up gifts, followed by Christmas lunch. One of their gifts to me was a scrap book filled with pictures from freshman year til present. They got to come to Desk R with me, and also got to see a man ring the bell since it was the last day of tx. Before doing so, cheerful music was played and he danced with one of the secretaries, before he rang the bell. That was new! Since my dad comes in with me back to the radiation treatment room everyday and helps them get me situated on the tx table; my friends also got to come back to the area and see how it works. My dad describes it as something from Star Wars. They got a tour of Mayo. I stayed with them every night at the Days Inn. It was so nice that they were so close to the Mayo. It was so much fun, to say the least, except for the crows hah!!!
Frid: Morning we took pictures around the downtown area. Tx. Later in the evening, we got dressed up and went to Chester's for dinner. Then we went ice skating later that evening. Later that night, Alyssa called us from Japan; knowing that we were all together. She's a missionary in Sapporo- she's currently in language school and will then start at one of the Universities, she was/is our bible study leader and friend through out college. So it was great to talk with her!!!
Sat: Mall of America, and to the surprise of Elizabeth, Laurie & Rachel (the one's who like to shop), Sara & I bought some stuff hah! It was a long but fun day, finished by going to IKEA. We took a picture with Santa!
Whenever we were at the Lodge & we'd run into people here that I know; I'd of course introduce them to my friends... And their responses were: You have friends?? What?
It feels like I'm leaving a lot out in talking about how the visit went; but it was an extremely refreshing time of friends & fellowship!! I am SOO thankful that they were able to come up & that all went well and had safe travels! Words can't describe how thankful I am for that time with them. One thing that I didn't really expect, was having individual set apart time. The first night they were here, they brought up the idea of having an hour alone spending that time reading a book and/or the bible and journaling each day. At first, my response was indifference; but it proved so helpful!! We then listened to worship music for half an hour after each hour set apart with God.
One thing that is very helpful, but at some times in ways can be depressing, is living at the Lodge through out this time; as everyone is going through some type of treatment. For me one of the hardest parts is the wait & see part, that will come after treatment is over & before the next followup mri.
So far lifting has gone well, but there have definitely been a few days where I was too tired to go. Last night I got to go to the boxing gym after working out, where my dad has been going. It was pretty cool, most attractive men seen so far in this city of Rochester!! (: Also got to get up in the boxing ring and throw a few punches, haha.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
just a good day...
--Seeing a wonderful woman, named Pat, being surrounded by people from the Lodge in the waiting room today, ringing the bell as she had completed her tx today! Her husband Phil has just been awesome to watch; reaching out to other people. Pat and Phil have gone to the Finding Hope meetings.
--Meeting another great couple, I always run into them in the morning time at breakfast. The husband has his treatment everyday before me; so I always see them both; we nod and wave. The wife is so sweet, she's told me of how she puts yogurt and Orange juice in her cereal, in place of milk. Her husband is so calm & has a wonderful demeanor. He actually had a brain tumor as well. He is a picture perfect santa with his white beard & hair. Seriously(: After talking with his wife more, she gave some of the words of her husband: "Life is just hard on people." I'm finding this to be true, life is just hard; and it's just life, it won't be perfect & it's okay.
--The snow has been melting.
--I just talked with another older couple. Their daughter, when she was 19 had a cancerous brain tumor, it was removed, and then she had radiation. She was in pre-med school and had to withdraw. She was given a 10 year prognosis, told that she wouldn't be able to conceive children. This lady, is now 40+, has three kids and is a advanced highschool physics teacher. It was good to hear of this story, as it's just hard to think about future plans. It's like in this process of what happened between Aug & Oct, taking one step forward, and then 2 steps back.
--I got to do some Christmas shopping at some of the local shops in the downtown area (my friends will be here tomorrow!!!!). As I was coming back to the Lodge, it was getting darker outside, I look up and see all of these crows!!! It was beautiful, there were a ton of them; the contrast between the dark sky and the black birds was beautiful. Then later in the evening before dinner, my dad and I went to the grocery store. As we were walking out side, all of the crows were covering the roof of the lodge; there were a lot of them just flying in the air as well. I could hear some splattering on the ground of them pooping. It was also visible on a ton of people's cars. So here, my dad and I were looking for the car, I'm just yelling "oh no", we end up finding the car and going to the store. When we got back, one of the ladies said to me that she could hear me from her room! It was just funny, these darn crows!
--Receiving mail/gifts from family and friends has been wonderful! Thank you!
On a side note: fatigue has set in this week a bit this week, which has made it harder to get to the gym & studying has been very off & on, not as consistent.
--Meeting another great couple, I always run into them in the morning time at breakfast. The husband has his treatment everyday before me; so I always see them both; we nod and wave. The wife is so sweet, she's told me of how she puts yogurt and Orange juice in her cereal, in place of milk. Her husband is so calm & has a wonderful demeanor. He actually had a brain tumor as well. He is a picture perfect santa with his white beard & hair. Seriously(: After talking with his wife more, she gave some of the words of her husband: "Life is just hard on people." I'm finding this to be true, life is just hard; and it's just life, it won't be perfect & it's okay.
--The snow has been melting.
--I just talked with another older couple. Their daughter, when she was 19 had a cancerous brain tumor, it was removed, and then she had radiation. She was in pre-med school and had to withdraw. She was given a 10 year prognosis, told that she wouldn't be able to conceive children. This lady, is now 40+, has three kids and is a advanced highschool physics teacher. It was good to hear of this story, as it's just hard to think about future plans. It's like in this process of what happened between Aug & Oct, taking one step forward, and then 2 steps back.
--I got to do some Christmas shopping at some of the local shops in the downtown area (my friends will be here tomorrow!!!!). As I was coming back to the Lodge, it was getting darker outside, I look up and see all of these crows!!! It was beautiful, there were a ton of them; the contrast between the dark sky and the black birds was beautiful. Then later in the evening before dinner, my dad and I went to the grocery store. As we were walking out side, all of the crows were covering the roof of the lodge; there were a lot of them just flying in the air as well. I could hear some splattering on the ground of them pooping. It was also visible on a ton of people's cars. So here, my dad and I were looking for the car, I'm just yelling "oh no", we end up finding the car and going to the store. When we got back, one of the ladies said to me that she could hear me from her room! It was just funny, these darn crows!
--Receiving mail/gifts from family and friends has been wonderful! Thank you!
On a side note: fatigue has set in this week a bit this week, which has made it harder to get to the gym & studying has been very off & on, not as consistent.
Monday, December 12, 2011
15 down... almost half way!
This past week:
My dad and I have gone to the Finding Hope meetings, they’re held twice a week. They've been very helpful. After the 1st meeting on Monday, last week; it was the first time that I prayed with more faith that God can work in these ways; as far as the radiation treatment goes and its' effectiveness on the tumor. It is very easy to see how God has answered prayers of life, sub-leasers & lodging. But it has been a lot harder to just pray to Him asking Him to make radiation completely effective. It just seems harder to see how He can answer prayers in relation to this subject of health.
But like I said, after this meeting on Monday, I can see more of how He answers medical prayers. This came from hearing people from the meeting saying things like "It is because of God that their loved one's cancer is gone..." "God did this..." "God did that..." At first it just sounds almost weird to hear people saying things like that, to me at least when it comes to health stuff. But I think it's when it's in a personal way, when you feel like the pending outcome is not in your favor or the desired outcome is not possible like in the cases of some of the people at the Finding Hope meetings; then once the prayer is answered, you are sold on God and how He can answer. The two times, where I've just had the feeling of finally being sold on how God can answer in personal ways, was in the case of the sub-leaser & in the case of how smoothly lodging went back in November in getting into the Naz house & quickly followed by the HL. But to be 100% honest, I still have doubts when it comes to medical stuff; but I think it’s okay since we are only human.
"It's very humbling to be on the receiving end of prayer" & "Enjoy life as it is," were two quotes that stood out to me.
At the second meeting of week, we sang Christmas Carols. After this meeting, I walked out into the entry area of HL, where there's a greeting desk & offices. From one of the offices someone was playing the song by Hillsong, From the Inside out (Everlasting). She was playing it loud enough that it could be heard from the hallway. It was so good to hear this song!
During radiation treatment, they play soothing music & there's a flat screen tv above that plays nature images on it. The people who go into get me set up for treatment, mentioned that I could bring my own music in to listen to during tx. At first I thought, oh I could bring music like that song Everlasting & listen to that; but then they also said "Or maybe not," just because you will be reminded of treatment, every time you hear the song in the future. Haha, I don't think I want that. It's not too bad or anything, receiving treatment. There are about 7 different times that they shoot the radiation. The machine makes a noise every time. During some of the administrations of radiation, I get a metallic taste in my mouth, but that's normal. The doctor compared the type of radiation that I am receiving, Intensity Modulated Radiation Therapy, to if you were to take a lot of flashlights and direct them at a deer that was out in the middle of the road at night time; just how lit up and visible the deer would be under so many lights.
The second new thing, I've lost a patch of hair in front of and above my left ear where the radiation waves are going in, on the left side of my head. I just have to put Vasiline on the area. It's not a big deal as this is where Dr. Marsh, the neurosurgeon, gave me a bad haircut. (:
The third new thing has just been in learning more about Mayo itself and what's coming. There's a mini museum on the first floor of the Mayo/Gonda building. There they have a replica of a heart-lung bypass machine that was used in 1955, to perform Mayo's first open heart surgery to repair the wall of the heart that separates the left and right ventricles, chambers that pumps blood to the body & lungs. This was a cutting edge surgery at the time that it was performed, now a procedure that is performed all of the time across America. It has been so interesting to hear about some of the treatments/transplants that some of the people here at the HL are receiving. This one person will be the 10th person at the Mayo to receive stem cell transplant from the cells found within an umbilical cord to treat Leukemia. My dad has said a few times after seeing the heart-lung bypass machine today and after hearing about some of the newer therapies coming to Mayo: What a time to be alive, with all of that is available (medically speaking)! It is so cool to see the new advances in medicine and treatment being made here; and seeing the necessity for medical facilities like Mayo and other places to keep raising the bar, that way in 10, 20, 30 years what was once something new and only at certain facilities will be offered across the country anywhere. There is a new building being built near mayo, they're really just breaking ground; but by 2015 at the latest, it will be a new radiation treatment facility that offers Proton Radiation. With conventional & IMRT radiation, there are both entry rays and exit rays; meaning that it goes through one side and comes out the other side. With Proton Radiation, they can pin-point the depth that the radiation is needed within the body, therefore eliminating exit rays of radiation. I asked more about IMRT with the Certified Nurse Practitioner, although yes, I do have exit rays of radiation; with IMRT; it is like waves of radiation that are going in, where the dose of it is increased in the area of the brain where the tumor is located; therefore the dose can also be modified and lessened in the areas of lesser concern. So I guess the name of ‘intensity modulated' makes perfect sense.
The fourth new thing: I have a legit brain buddy now!! I've met a young couple from South Asia. The wife, who is closer to my age had a brain tumor mostly removed and is now receiving the same type of radiation. The funny thing is she has Dr. Yan as a radiation oncologist, AND that Dr. Yan's husband is a neurosurgeon here at Mayo who operated on the gal that I just met. CRAZINESS! Of course doctors don't always change their name, but Dr. Yan's husband is Dr. Parney. What a match, an oncologist with a neurosurgeon! I wonder what they talk about at the dinner table?! But it has just been nice to have met someone who is going through a lot of the same medical stuff, someone to be able to relate with.
Once again, last but not least: My dad and I will be driving back to KS for a short visit for Christmas!!! I will get to see my mom and brother & family!! Joe will be leaving for the Marines very soon, so it will be great to see him!! I was talking on the phone with Joe, he was like: I just mowed the lawn! It was just funny because back in PA at this time of year, he'd be shoveling snow.
My dad and I have gone to the Finding Hope meetings, they’re held twice a week. They've been very helpful. After the 1st meeting on Monday, last week; it was the first time that I prayed with more faith that God can work in these ways; as far as the radiation treatment goes and its' effectiveness on the tumor. It is very easy to see how God has answered prayers of life, sub-leasers & lodging. But it has been a lot harder to just pray to Him asking Him to make radiation completely effective. It just seems harder to see how He can answer prayers in relation to this subject of health.
But like I said, after this meeting on Monday, I can see more of how He answers medical prayers. This came from hearing people from the meeting saying things like "It is because of God that their loved one's cancer is gone..." "God did this..." "God did that..." At first it just sounds almost weird to hear people saying things like that, to me at least when it comes to health stuff. But I think it's when it's in a personal way, when you feel like the pending outcome is not in your favor or the desired outcome is not possible like in the cases of some of the people at the Finding Hope meetings; then once the prayer is answered, you are sold on God and how He can answer. The two times, where I've just had the feeling of finally being sold on how God can answer in personal ways, was in the case of the sub-leaser & in the case of how smoothly lodging went back in November in getting into the Naz house & quickly followed by the HL. But to be 100% honest, I still have doubts when it comes to medical stuff; but I think it’s okay since we are only human.
"It's very humbling to be on the receiving end of prayer" & "Enjoy life as it is," were two quotes that stood out to me.
At the second meeting of week, we sang Christmas Carols. After this meeting, I walked out into the entry area of HL, where there's a greeting desk & offices. From one of the offices someone was playing the song by Hillsong, From the Inside out (Everlasting). She was playing it loud enough that it could be heard from the hallway. It was so good to hear this song!
During radiation treatment, they play soothing music & there's a flat screen tv above that plays nature images on it. The people who go into get me set up for treatment, mentioned that I could bring my own music in to listen to during tx. At first I thought, oh I could bring music like that song Everlasting & listen to that; but then they also said "Or maybe not," just because you will be reminded of treatment, every time you hear the song in the future. Haha, I don't think I want that. It's not too bad or anything, receiving treatment. There are about 7 different times that they shoot the radiation. The machine makes a noise every time. During some of the administrations of radiation, I get a metallic taste in my mouth, but that's normal. The doctor compared the type of radiation that I am receiving, Intensity Modulated Radiation Therapy, to if you were to take a lot of flashlights and direct them at a deer that was out in the middle of the road at night time; just how lit up and visible the deer would be under so many lights.
The second new thing, I've lost a patch of hair in front of and above my left ear where the radiation waves are going in, on the left side of my head. I just have to put Vasiline on the area. It's not a big deal as this is where Dr. Marsh, the neurosurgeon, gave me a bad haircut. (:
The third new thing has just been in learning more about Mayo itself and what's coming. There's a mini museum on the first floor of the Mayo/Gonda building. There they have a replica of a heart-lung bypass machine that was used in 1955, to perform Mayo's first open heart surgery to repair the wall of the heart that separates the left and right ventricles, chambers that pumps blood to the body & lungs. This was a cutting edge surgery at the time that it was performed, now a procedure that is performed all of the time across America. It has been so interesting to hear about some of the treatments/transplants that some of the people here at the HL are receiving. This one person will be the 10th person at the Mayo to receive stem cell transplant from the cells found within an umbilical cord to treat Leukemia. My dad has said a few times after seeing the heart-lung bypass machine today and after hearing about some of the newer therapies coming to Mayo: What a time to be alive, with all of that is available (medically speaking)! It is so cool to see the new advances in medicine and treatment being made here; and seeing the necessity for medical facilities like Mayo and other places to keep raising the bar, that way in 10, 20, 30 years what was once something new and only at certain facilities will be offered across the country anywhere. There is a new building being built near mayo, they're really just breaking ground; but by 2015 at the latest, it will be a new radiation treatment facility that offers Proton Radiation. With conventional & IMRT radiation, there are both entry rays and exit rays; meaning that it goes through one side and comes out the other side. With Proton Radiation, they can pin-point the depth that the radiation is needed within the body, therefore eliminating exit rays of radiation. I asked more about IMRT with the Certified Nurse Practitioner, although yes, I do have exit rays of radiation; with IMRT; it is like waves of radiation that are going in, where the dose of it is increased in the area of the brain where the tumor is located; therefore the dose can also be modified and lessened in the areas of lesser concern. So I guess the name of ‘intensity modulated' makes perfect sense.
The fourth new thing: I have a legit brain buddy now!! I've met a young couple from South Asia. The wife, who is closer to my age had a brain tumor mostly removed and is now receiving the same type of radiation. The funny thing is she has Dr. Yan as a radiation oncologist, AND that Dr. Yan's husband is a neurosurgeon here at Mayo who operated on the gal that I just met. CRAZINESS! Of course doctors don't always change their name, but Dr. Yan's husband is Dr. Parney. What a match, an oncologist with a neurosurgeon! I wonder what they talk about at the dinner table?! But it has just been nice to have met someone who is going through a lot of the same medical stuff, someone to be able to relate with.
Once again, last but not least: My dad and I will be driving back to KS for a short visit for Christmas!!! I will get to see my mom and brother & family!! Joe will be leaving for the Marines very soon, so it will be great to see him!! I was talking on the phone with Joe, he was like: I just mowed the lawn! It was just funny because back in PA at this time of year, he'd be shoveling snow.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
After today: 1/3 of the way through... (:
So I forgot: Last week, when I was in the weight room, they were playing coffee shop classical music!!! Haha! They eventually turned it back to the normal type of music found in gyms, but I really enjoyed the coffee shop music!!
One thing, that I've always been very pleased with is the coordination of care provided; so far, there have only been a few moments of ugh with them, but considering all that we've done up here, I'm overall very pleased. Last week, Thursday I had four appointments in 3 different departments here. And today; I've received a phone call from Mayo from a separate department than the previously mentioned 3. The phone call was from a Doctor just to collaborate with the information that he read from the doctors notes from a couple of the appointments, and set up another appointment. I am very thankful for their system of charting and recording notes; as this is what has helped them to coordinate care so well with in this facility-- this has been very helpful; rather than me trying to connect the doctors notes of what can be done.
I've met and continue to meet people here that are just wonderful &entertaining. One of the grandmotherly figures being Sharon. We were in the tv room the other night, knitting and sewing; and we got to catch the last part of the movie Evan Almighty; which has an amazing dance scene at the end! She's now going to buy the DVD as a Christmas gift for her grandchildren.
Yesterday evening, Sharon and I along with a couple other ladies were going to on this Jolley Trolley trip to see Christmas lights; but it fell through. The one lady then told me her and her husband went and waited to go on this trip, waiting outside and "froze their rear axle's off." Haha! I've never heard it put that way.
One thing, that I've always been very pleased with is the coordination of care provided; so far, there have only been a few moments of ugh with them, but considering all that we've done up here, I'm overall very pleased. Last week, Thursday I had four appointments in 3 different departments here. And today; I've received a phone call from Mayo from a separate department than the previously mentioned 3. The phone call was from a Doctor just to collaborate with the information that he read from the doctors notes from a couple of the appointments, and set up another appointment. I am very thankful for their system of charting and recording notes; as this is what has helped them to coordinate care so well with in this facility-- this has been very helpful; rather than me trying to connect the doctors notes of what can be done.
I've met and continue to meet people here that are just wonderful &entertaining. One of the grandmotherly figures being Sharon. We were in the tv room the other night, knitting and sewing; and we got to catch the last part of the movie Evan Almighty; which has an amazing dance scene at the end! She's now going to buy the DVD as a Christmas gift for her grandchildren.
Yesterday evening, Sharon and I along with a couple other ladies were going to on this Jolley Trolley trip to see Christmas lights; but it fell through. The one lady then told me her and her husband went and waited to go on this trip, waiting outside and "froze their rear axle's off." Haha! I've never heard it put that way.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
"You're not in KS anymore"
Joys/laughs/some blahh of this week:
Sunday: My dad and I went to Mass, this church is connected to St. Mary's Hospital of Mayo. It was beautiful. We took a mother and her middle aged daughter with us, Cindy and Shannon from the Naz well house. Cindy, the mom, was telling us of a humorous encounter with a nun, who happens to be 100 years old. Cindy pointed the nun out to us after Mass, she was the cutest lady ever. So I guess Cindy walked into the church last Saturday 10 minutes late, she runs into this nun and asks if it's too late; Cindy told us that the nun just grabs her in by the shoulder saying, "Come, come; we'll get you in, it's okay." If you were there to hear Cindy retelling this story, you would be laughing; Cindy got a kick out of this 100 year old nun, how sweet she was, and then how she yanked her by the shoulder. Both Shannon and Cindy were wonderful people to meet!!
After that, I went to a Lutheran church with a woman from the Lodge; there a man turned around and asked us where we were from. His response to me being from KS, was: (Dorothy) You're not in KS anymore.
Monday: I ran into Dr. Lachance!! Finally, I knew it'd happen sometime. He's the neuro-oncologist. He's one of my favorite doctors I've had here, besides Dr. Marsh, who is so suave with his hair and accent. Dr. L and I chatted a little bit, it was so nice; probably the most relaxed he's ever seen me. He besides, Dr. Yan (the radiation oncologist), knows me the best, saying that I'm an OCD thinker. I also saw him in passing again on Tuesday.
Tues: In the evening, I watched a couple episodes of Parenthood and knitted a bit. Anyways, there was A LOT of humor in those episodes!!
Another joy was seeing the words, "Abundant Sunshine," written on the dry erase board near the main entrance of the Lodge to describe the forecast for that day.
Wed: I got to meet with the physical trainer at the YMCA. People living at the hope lodge, get to use the ymca for free. Woo! I'm on the north side of mayo, the ymca is on the south side; it is a beautiful jog between the lodge and the ymca, at least to me it is. Anyways, the trainer is named Kevin. He's about 29 or 30. He's the youngest man I've met here yet!!! He was a nice guy. So as I mentioned, it's important for me at this point in time, and even just in general important for anyone at any point of time; to do weight bearing activities to gain muscle mass therefore improving bone density. So he went through the best ways to do so with upper body on wed, and then lower body & core on Friday. The Whey protein, ohh goodness; that and Ensure... This week, I had a good shake made for me everyday of whey/ensure by my dad. The lifting has gone well so far! One of the side effects of radiation during treatment, can be fatigue. So far, fatigue doesn't feel to be an issue. Pray that it stays this way. No other immediate side effects, such as poor appetite and patchy hair loss have occurred yet. Wooo!
So, at Desk R, near the check in; there's a bell located on the wall. It's a bell to be rung three times upon completion of treatment. There is also something fitting inscribed on the plaque below it. Two times this week, I got to see someone leaving their last day of tx (usually a 5-7wk period) and ring the bell 3x's. It was definitely emotional!! I've had 9 so far, 24 to go.
Thurs: Long day of a four appointments/treatment. Eeeek! In the last blog, I shared what Dr. Y, had said last week, about menopause as early as 2 years r/t pituitary gland in brain not producing the hormone FSH(we get to meet with Dr. Y each week for about 20min, woo!). This day, Thursday got to meet with a doctor in reproductive endocrinology. She actually described what may happen as amenorrhea due to pituitary dysfunction rather than early menopause, meaning no menses r/t no signal via FSH. Ovaries can still make estrogen, but won't be doing so r/t no FSH. Where as in menopause, she explained that there aren't any eggs via ovaries. Therefore the doctor said that if I do experience amenorrhea; that I can take birth control which will give estrogen/progesterone which will help with bone strength. To the hopeful part, for future pregnancy; the doctor said that I could be given synthetic FSH/LH for ovulation induction for 10-12 days to conceive. May not be able to breast feed due to lack of some other hormone, but still! Anyways, that was probably too much info; but I just wanted to clarify that hopefully it won't be complete early menopause but just a pituitary dysfunction causing amenorrhea. Maybe I'll just stop sharing what the doctors say, it seems to differ in some way or another at points (:
In the beginning of this process, back in April, I definitely soaked up the words of doctors like they were set in stone. Their words became as though they were those of 'God' (atleast I've at some points taken those words to heart in that way). I should not grip onto their words as if their words were all that mattered. God's words are the only words that last forever and are 100% true, not the words of doctors, even mayo doctors.
Although I am so thankful, that God is so intelligent; and has given his creation the ability to be so smart in order to treat people with nearly any sickness/disease; from the simple to the complicated to the 'weird and wonderful' as the radiation oncologist put it in describing the rare forms of tumors that they see. Back in the beginning of November, when we first met the the radiation oncologist; and received information about the tumor/radiation, she gave some very helpful advice after she gave us time to soak in the information. When she returned to the room, she could see I was freaking out; her advice came in the form of her saying that she noticed that I had been taking notes and had a Bible underneath the paper for notes. She made mention of the story of Peter getting out of the boat to walk on the water to meet Jesus, and then of Peter sinking into the water after being frightened by what he saw around him. So Dr. Yan's advice was to look at Jesus through out this stormy time of life. It was/is extremely helpful to think back on her advice, so here's the story from Matthew 14.
25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.
26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.
30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” 32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
It's definitely hard to change and not worry so much about things. One of the really neat ladies here, Ann, grandmother of Rocko, asked me on Saturday if I worry too much. She could see it on my face as the more emotional part of me showing through. Ann told me: It's completely out of your hands, out of your control.
Later Thur evening my dad and I went to a faith based meeting hosted here called "Finding Hope along the Journey"-- it was a great hour, meeting people and hearing stories. I've met a great older couple through that, Tim and Glenna.
Friday: They had to draw some blood to get baseline hormone levels and to also determine if I was planet earth (:. It was scheduled for 7:20am. Haha!! It was actually nice waking up that early and getting outside, the sky being a darker blue, and getting to see the wonderful pooping complained about crows that have scattered the sidewalks with wonderful stuff. Then after everything was done for that day, I got to go to the movies!!! I went with a lady staying here at HL and her aunt. We saw Jack & Jill, it's with Adam Sandler.. I do NOT recommend it! But two parts that brought lots of laughter had to do with Jill eating a ton of Mexican food for the first time in her life which in turn led to horrible gargling bowel sounds while she was getting dropped off at her house by her date, she had to book it out of the car and run to the bathroom and have a very noisy bowel movement. I don't know why that kind of stuff just is hilarious to me. Ever since 8th grade, when I brought a whoopy cushion to school and sat on it in the middle of class, and Mrs. Fisher thought I really farted and said she felt sorry for me, haha!
Sat: from 3-8pm, First National Bank drove a group of us via bus who had signed up for a caroling/'sleigh ride,' dinner trip along with people from the Ronald McDonald house. It was a fun trip. And it snowed!! I got to try pumpkin soup.
This was definitely a week of feeling like 'you're not in KS anymore,' being up and down about the situation. On Friday, like I said I got to wake up early and go to Mayo to get blood drawn. As I was at the crosswalks nearing mayo, I saw lots of mayo employees and then younger people who looked like students as they were in scrubs. Later after I got back from the movies, that Friday night, there was a dinner being served by a group of people. My dad talked with them, and found out that these were nursing students. Right there, it caught me off guard, as it has been sinking in a little bit; seeing this tumor thing for what it is in one way; an interruption to me, something that is keeping me from school at this point in time. If I didn't have this, I wouldn't have this stress and parts of my brain would still be there and unaffected allowing me to be studying to the fullest capacity and becoming a nurse. I even recognized a few of the students serving dinner, from that morning at the crosswalks when I saw them going to what I later found out were clinicals out the Rochester Methodist Hospital.
Another thing that Dr. Y has emphasized is for my brain to stay active in learning/studying!! Dr Y. said to me "If you don't use it, you'll lose it," so if you could just pray that I would be diligent in continuing studying/reviewing nursing/Spanish. I've gone to the Patient education center a couple times this weeks to study, but basically it's room full of manicans, fake brains, and utero containing a manican fetus and displays(funnnnn). There have been a few times where I can definitely feel the results of prayer, when I have moments of amazing peace where I know it's only because of God answering prayers; I know you are praying, at times I can definitely feel it; thank you!
Another thing that caught me off guard on Friday was remembering that Saturday was KSU's last season game, after talking on the phone with my brother. This is just significant to me because, Joe has been in KC living with family since August, working and preparing for the Marines. He goes to Basic in the beginning of January. So, thanks to family, my brother and I have been able to enjoy K-State football, going to games and tailgating, and enjoying time in the car before arriving to the game and finding parking off of Kimball on the west side of the stadium; and then leaving the game and it taking almost an hour to get out of the parking lot and back on Tuttle creek blvd. I can't put into words how amazing it has been to have such a time with Joe, so it was just knowing what he was doing and that I was missing that time at the game with him/tailgating/ making it out of the church parking lot (it taking like 30-40min) in the car listening to music and watching him be a goof (he dances in the car while listening to music- ask him sometime hah). But we won ending the season, 10-2!! And he sounded great Saturday morning when I caught him at the game.
So if you haven't read enough already: I have to share with you, last but not least, one huge part of joy of this week! It's OFFICIAL!!! From Dec 14-18th, Rachel, Sara, Elizabeth, and Laurie will be in Rochester to visit!! Ahh, I'm so excited, it will be so much fun!! Amazing friends that I am so thankful for, each of them have been nothing but a blessing to me! We'll go up to Mall of America!!
Sunday: My dad and I went to Mass, this church is connected to St. Mary's Hospital of Mayo. It was beautiful. We took a mother and her middle aged daughter with us, Cindy and Shannon from the Naz well house. Cindy, the mom, was telling us of a humorous encounter with a nun, who happens to be 100 years old. Cindy pointed the nun out to us after Mass, she was the cutest lady ever. So I guess Cindy walked into the church last Saturday 10 minutes late, she runs into this nun and asks if it's too late; Cindy told us that the nun just grabs her in by the shoulder saying, "Come, come; we'll get you in, it's okay." If you were there to hear Cindy retelling this story, you would be laughing; Cindy got a kick out of this 100 year old nun, how sweet she was, and then how she yanked her by the shoulder. Both Shannon and Cindy were wonderful people to meet!!
After that, I went to a Lutheran church with a woman from the Lodge; there a man turned around and asked us where we were from. His response to me being from KS, was: (Dorothy) You're not in KS anymore.
Monday: I ran into Dr. Lachance!! Finally, I knew it'd happen sometime. He's the neuro-oncologist. He's one of my favorite doctors I've had here, besides Dr. Marsh, who is so suave with his hair and accent. Dr. L and I chatted a little bit, it was so nice; probably the most relaxed he's ever seen me. He besides, Dr. Yan (the radiation oncologist), knows me the best, saying that I'm an OCD thinker. I also saw him in passing again on Tuesday.
Tues: In the evening, I watched a couple episodes of Parenthood and knitted a bit. Anyways, there was A LOT of humor in those episodes!!
Another joy was seeing the words, "Abundant Sunshine," written on the dry erase board near the main entrance of the Lodge to describe the forecast for that day.
Wed: I got to meet with the physical trainer at the YMCA. People living at the hope lodge, get to use the ymca for free. Woo! I'm on the north side of mayo, the ymca is on the south side; it is a beautiful jog between the lodge and the ymca, at least to me it is. Anyways, the trainer is named Kevin. He's about 29 or 30. He's the youngest man I've met here yet!!! He was a nice guy. So as I mentioned, it's important for me at this point in time, and even just in general important for anyone at any point of time; to do weight bearing activities to gain muscle mass therefore improving bone density. So he went through the best ways to do so with upper body on wed, and then lower body & core on Friday. The Whey protein, ohh goodness; that and Ensure... This week, I had a good shake made for me everyday of whey/ensure by my dad. The lifting has gone well so far! One of the side effects of radiation during treatment, can be fatigue. So far, fatigue doesn't feel to be an issue. Pray that it stays this way. No other immediate side effects, such as poor appetite and patchy hair loss have occurred yet. Wooo!
So, at Desk R, near the check in; there's a bell located on the wall. It's a bell to be rung three times upon completion of treatment. There is also something fitting inscribed on the plaque below it. Two times this week, I got to see someone leaving their last day of tx (usually a 5-7wk period) and ring the bell 3x's. It was definitely emotional!! I've had 9 so far, 24 to go.
Thurs: Long day of a four appointments/treatment. Eeeek! In the last blog, I shared what Dr. Y, had said last week, about menopause as early as 2 years r/t pituitary gland in brain not producing the hormone FSH(we get to meet with Dr. Y each week for about 20min, woo!). This day, Thursday got to meet with a doctor in reproductive endocrinology. She actually described what may happen as amenorrhea due to pituitary dysfunction rather than early menopause, meaning no menses r/t no signal via FSH. Ovaries can still make estrogen, but won't be doing so r/t no FSH. Where as in menopause, she explained that there aren't any eggs via ovaries. Therefore the doctor said that if I do experience amenorrhea; that I can take birth control which will give estrogen/progesterone which will help with bone strength. To the hopeful part, for future pregnancy; the doctor said that I could be given synthetic FSH/LH for ovulation induction for 10-12 days to conceive. May not be able to breast feed due to lack of some other hormone, but still! Anyways, that was probably too much info; but I just wanted to clarify that hopefully it won't be complete early menopause but just a pituitary dysfunction causing amenorrhea. Maybe I'll just stop sharing what the doctors say, it seems to differ in some way or another at points (:
In the beginning of this process, back in April, I definitely soaked up the words of doctors like they were set in stone. Their words became as though they were those of 'God' (atleast I've at some points taken those words to heart in that way). I should not grip onto their words as if their words were all that mattered. God's words are the only words that last forever and are 100% true, not the words of doctors, even mayo doctors.
Although I am so thankful, that God is so intelligent; and has given his creation the ability to be so smart in order to treat people with nearly any sickness/disease; from the simple to the complicated to the 'weird and wonderful' as the radiation oncologist put it in describing the rare forms of tumors that they see. Back in the beginning of November, when we first met the the radiation oncologist; and received information about the tumor/radiation, she gave some very helpful advice after she gave us time to soak in the information. When she returned to the room, she could see I was freaking out; her advice came in the form of her saying that she noticed that I had been taking notes and had a Bible underneath the paper for notes. She made mention of the story of Peter getting out of the boat to walk on the water to meet Jesus, and then of Peter sinking into the water after being frightened by what he saw around him. So Dr. Yan's advice was to look at Jesus through out this stormy time of life. It was/is extremely helpful to think back on her advice, so here's the story from Matthew 14.
25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.
26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.
30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” 32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”
It's definitely hard to change and not worry so much about things. One of the really neat ladies here, Ann, grandmother of Rocko, asked me on Saturday if I worry too much. She could see it on my face as the more emotional part of me showing through. Ann told me: It's completely out of your hands, out of your control.
Later Thur evening my dad and I went to a faith based meeting hosted here called "Finding Hope along the Journey"-- it was a great hour, meeting people and hearing stories. I've met a great older couple through that, Tim and Glenna.
Friday: They had to draw some blood to get baseline hormone levels and to also determine if I was planet earth (:. It was scheduled for 7:20am. Haha!! It was actually nice waking up that early and getting outside, the sky being a darker blue, and getting to see the wonderful pooping complained about crows that have scattered the sidewalks with wonderful stuff. Then after everything was done for that day, I got to go to the movies!!! I went with a lady staying here at HL and her aunt. We saw Jack & Jill, it's with Adam Sandler.. I do NOT recommend it! But two parts that brought lots of laughter had to do with Jill eating a ton of Mexican food for the first time in her life which in turn led to horrible gargling bowel sounds while she was getting dropped off at her house by her date, she had to book it out of the car and run to the bathroom and have a very noisy bowel movement. I don't know why that kind of stuff just is hilarious to me. Ever since 8th grade, when I brought a whoopy cushion to school and sat on it in the middle of class, and Mrs. Fisher thought I really farted and said she felt sorry for me, haha!
Sat: from 3-8pm, First National Bank drove a group of us via bus who had signed up for a caroling/'sleigh ride,' dinner trip along with people from the Ronald McDonald house. It was a fun trip. And it snowed!! I got to try pumpkin soup.
This was definitely a week of feeling like 'you're not in KS anymore,' being up and down about the situation. On Friday, like I said I got to wake up early and go to Mayo to get blood drawn. As I was at the crosswalks nearing mayo, I saw lots of mayo employees and then younger people who looked like students as they were in scrubs. Later after I got back from the movies, that Friday night, there was a dinner being served by a group of people. My dad talked with them, and found out that these were nursing students. Right there, it caught me off guard, as it has been sinking in a little bit; seeing this tumor thing for what it is in one way; an interruption to me, something that is keeping me from school at this point in time. If I didn't have this, I wouldn't have this stress and parts of my brain would still be there and unaffected allowing me to be studying to the fullest capacity and becoming a nurse. I even recognized a few of the students serving dinner, from that morning at the crosswalks when I saw them going to what I later found out were clinicals out the Rochester Methodist Hospital.
Another thing that Dr. Y has emphasized is for my brain to stay active in learning/studying!! Dr Y. said to me "If you don't use it, you'll lose it," so if you could just pray that I would be diligent in continuing studying/reviewing nursing/Spanish. I've gone to the Patient education center a couple times this weeks to study, but basically it's room full of manicans, fake brains, and utero containing a manican fetus and displays(funnnnn). There have been a few times where I can definitely feel the results of prayer, when I have moments of amazing peace where I know it's only because of God answering prayers; I know you are praying, at times I can definitely feel it; thank you!
Another thing that caught me off guard on Friday was remembering that Saturday was KSU's last season game, after talking on the phone with my brother. This is just significant to me because, Joe has been in KC living with family since August, working and preparing for the Marines. He goes to Basic in the beginning of January. So, thanks to family, my brother and I have been able to enjoy K-State football, going to games and tailgating, and enjoying time in the car before arriving to the game and finding parking off of Kimball on the west side of the stadium; and then leaving the game and it taking almost an hour to get out of the parking lot and back on Tuttle creek blvd. I can't put into words how amazing it has been to have such a time with Joe, so it was just knowing what he was doing and that I was missing that time at the game with him/tailgating/ making it out of the church parking lot (it taking like 30-40min) in the car listening to music and watching him be a goof (he dances in the car while listening to music- ask him sometime hah). But we won ending the season, 10-2!! And he sounded great Saturday morning when I caught him at the game.
So if you haven't read enough already: I have to share with you, last but not least, one huge part of joy of this week! It's OFFICIAL!!! From Dec 14-18th, Rachel, Sara, Elizabeth, and Laurie will be in Rochester to visit!! Ahh, I'm so excited, it will be so much fun!! Amazing friends that I am so thankful for, each of them have been nothing but a blessing to me! We'll go up to Mall of America!!
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Week One: Terminada!
So, We've been up in Rochester for a week now. Nazarene Well House called me last Thursday before coming up, saying that there was an available room. It was a huge blessing and gift from God. It was an amazing environment to stay in, definitely felt as though God put us there. It was very comforting! My dad is here with me. He bought some Whey protein for me, as a bigger emphasis was put on the need to do weight bearing activities by the radiation oncologist at the last appointment on Friday; therefore to increase muscle mass! More muscle pulling on the bone + more weight for the bones carry = greater bone mass achieved, as calcium is deposited in areas of the bone where there's more weight/or muscle. This is very important, as yesterday the doctor said early menopause could come as early as 2 years verses 5-10. Either way, that means a bone mass of older woman sooner. So the sooner I can get buff like my brother, the better! And my dad is an excellent 'coach' in this area of lifting weights and eating lots of good stuff that is condusive to gaining muscle mass. The 50% chance of early menopause is related to the effects of the radiation that will be delivered in the area of the brain containing the pituitary gland which controls release of certain hormones in our bodies. (So, pray that this does not happen).
About 2 weeks ago, I was number 44 to get into Hope Lodge; which is free lodging and is uber close to Mayo Clinic; and after being up here for just 4 days, HL called saying that they had an open room!! It was amazing. So we arrived Nov. 20th and were moved into Hope L by the 23rd.
Hope Lodge has been great so far! Finally unpacked; brought a ton of stuff. But will be here until Jan. 9th. They provided Thanksgiving Dinner, as well. There are a sorts of people here, definitely a blessing! Every time I go down to eat in the kitchen, there's always a group of people. The one night, I met an amazingly entertaining kid named Rocko. I'm looking forward to getting to know some of these people more!
The radiation part has gone well so far. The very first day of treatment, treatments just last 15minutes, but the first day in the waiting room before; one of the volunteers came and gave a hand massage. It was very nice and relaxing. I'm very thankful to be here, as the environment is very set to help people relax. Right outside of Desk R, where I go to check in, there's an open area with a piano; where I've seen three people so far play and provide entertainment. They once played the song 'Forget you,' I later learned the origins of this song; I had no clue!(: But the lady who I check in with most days at Desk R, now greets me by name. Which is nice, to feel at home.
So, now to the part that I want to share; the way I'm trying to look at this! This will hopefully be a learning process and coming to just have peace with how things are. This whole tumor thing, at least this semester has consumed my thoughts-- I would like that to change.
The way I'm trying to look at this comes from how God has worked in the past through life changes and this one of choosing to withdraw from Nursing school and start treatment. The one life change that I'd like to share to give reference to how God has always worked in my life, was moving from PA to KS back in 2005. It wasn't the easiest; but through it came amazing things. Going to KSU was amazing, as I was surrounded by amazing friends who love God and definitely have let their actions reflect this. This and being reconnected with extended family was/is a big gift!!! Friends and family to me are definitely proof of God's love. So, basically any negative situation always has a way of showing God's provision and the way He answers prayers; therefore His faithfulness and love.
I have seen God answer in many ways concerning this tumor thing since April of this year, or maybe just more in circumstances and logistics of life related to dealing with a tumor/surgery/treatment. Back in January of this year, I signed a one-year lease in Topeka at West Indian Town Homes with two other nursing students; as I had finished pre-req's at KSU as was starting Nursing School. Topeka is definitely not like Manhattan, Manhattan being a college town where there are always sub-leasers to be found. Topeka is the Capitol of KS, not exactly where someone wants to spend their summer in most cases. I had been posting and looking for a summer sub-leaser for almost the entire Spring semester as I knew I wanted to spend some time in Manhattan that summer. Then once I found out that the mass seen on an MRI back in the end of March was indeed a tumor, on April 29th, it became a very 'pressing' issue of needing a summer sub-leaser to take my spot in Topeka for that summer, as I knew that a surgery was inevitable. My roommates and I had done everything in our power to find a sub-leaser. It wasn't until less than a week before leaving for Mayo, that someone (an absolute perfect fit) contacted one of my roommates; asking if she knew of anyone who was looking for a summer sub-leaser in Topeka.... OF COURSE WE DID (: It was an amazing answer to prayer. This first of many. God even provided a sub-leaser to take my spot and finish up the years lease for the Fall Semester. Which gave me more freedom to leave school, this Fall semester.
It is definitely a blessing to be up here at Mayo, as radiation is a very specific treatment that requires a lot of time and consideration and accuracy in its' planning and administration. It's a blessing to have wonderful family! Even though this situation is not the 'funnest,' God has provided in every way possible to be up here. He has always provided in the past and I've been surrounded by amazing family and friends through out this entire process: Therefore I'm trying to look at this 'negative' situation and see God's faithfulness in all of it, no matter what. Life is not perfect, just have to learn to deal with how it is; joyfully seeing God through His provision, through wonderful friends and family and this new experience! (a temporary vacation from school, wooo!)
So, I want to end with a question that one of the pastors at Faith E-Free left us with in closing his sermon:
"What good thing in life, have you not received?"
I feel that this question even goes back to the abilities of our own bodies to do mentally and physically anything we want them to. God has created us in very complex ways, He has given us the ability to take in air through our lungs, and for that oxygen to be carried to every cell of our body. He has also given the gift of eternal life in Jesus!
About 2 weeks ago, I was number 44 to get into Hope Lodge; which is free lodging and is uber close to Mayo Clinic; and after being up here for just 4 days, HL called saying that they had an open room!! It was amazing. So we arrived Nov. 20th and were moved into Hope L by the 23rd.
Hope Lodge has been great so far! Finally unpacked; brought a ton of stuff. But will be here until Jan. 9th. They provided Thanksgiving Dinner, as well. There are a sorts of people here, definitely a blessing! Every time I go down to eat in the kitchen, there's always a group of people. The one night, I met an amazingly entertaining kid named Rocko. I'm looking forward to getting to know some of these people more!
The radiation part has gone well so far. The very first day of treatment, treatments just last 15minutes, but the first day in the waiting room before; one of the volunteers came and gave a hand massage. It was very nice and relaxing. I'm very thankful to be here, as the environment is very set to help people relax. Right outside of Desk R, where I go to check in, there's an open area with a piano; where I've seen three people so far play and provide entertainment. They once played the song 'Forget you,' I later learned the origins of this song; I had no clue!(: But the lady who I check in with most days at Desk R, now greets me by name. Which is nice, to feel at home.
So, now to the part that I want to share; the way I'm trying to look at this! This will hopefully be a learning process and coming to just have peace with how things are. This whole tumor thing, at least this semester has consumed my thoughts-- I would like that to change.
The way I'm trying to look at this comes from how God has worked in the past through life changes and this one of choosing to withdraw from Nursing school and start treatment. The one life change that I'd like to share to give reference to how God has always worked in my life, was moving from PA to KS back in 2005. It wasn't the easiest; but through it came amazing things. Going to KSU was amazing, as I was surrounded by amazing friends who love God and definitely have let their actions reflect this. This and being reconnected with extended family was/is a big gift!!! Friends and family to me are definitely proof of God's love. So, basically any negative situation always has a way of showing God's provision and the way He answers prayers; therefore His faithfulness and love.
I have seen God answer in many ways concerning this tumor thing since April of this year, or maybe just more in circumstances and logistics of life related to dealing with a tumor/surgery/treatment. Back in January of this year, I signed a one-year lease in Topeka at West Indian Town Homes with two other nursing students; as I had finished pre-req's at KSU as was starting Nursing School. Topeka is definitely not like Manhattan, Manhattan being a college town where there are always sub-leasers to be found. Topeka is the Capitol of KS, not exactly where someone wants to spend their summer in most cases. I had been posting and looking for a summer sub-leaser for almost the entire Spring semester as I knew I wanted to spend some time in Manhattan that summer. Then once I found out that the mass seen on an MRI back in the end of March was indeed a tumor, on April 29th, it became a very 'pressing' issue of needing a summer sub-leaser to take my spot in Topeka for that summer, as I knew that a surgery was inevitable. My roommates and I had done everything in our power to find a sub-leaser. It wasn't until less than a week before leaving for Mayo, that someone (an absolute perfect fit) contacted one of my roommates; asking if she knew of anyone who was looking for a summer sub-leaser in Topeka.... OF COURSE WE DID (: It was an amazing answer to prayer. This first of many. God even provided a sub-leaser to take my spot and finish up the years lease for the Fall Semester. Which gave me more freedom to leave school, this Fall semester.
It is definitely a blessing to be up here at Mayo, as radiation is a very specific treatment that requires a lot of time and consideration and accuracy in its' planning and administration. It's a blessing to have wonderful family! Even though this situation is not the 'funnest,' God has provided in every way possible to be up here. He has always provided in the past and I've been surrounded by amazing family and friends through out this entire process: Therefore I'm trying to look at this 'negative' situation and see God's faithfulness in all of it, no matter what. Life is not perfect, just have to learn to deal with how it is; joyfully seeing God through His provision, through wonderful friends and family and this new experience! (a temporary vacation from school, wooo!)
So, I want to end with a question that one of the pastors at Faith E-Free left us with in closing his sermon:
"What good thing in life, have you not received?"
I feel that this question even goes back to the abilities of our own bodies to do mentally and physically anything we want them to. God has created us in very complex ways, He has given us the ability to take in air through our lungs, and for that oxygen to be carried to every cell of our body. He has also given the gift of eternal life in Jesus!
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